The Original Dream

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I know you.  You have dreams…

I had my dreams as well.

When I came to know the Lord, however, all of the things that I wished for my life disappeared into a puff of smoke.  I headed off to become a missionary, instead of a business owner.   Missions, I assure you, was never in my five year plan.

It was painful.  If I’m honest, I would say it sucked.    Everything about leaving America meant saying goodbye to the dreams I had for myself.  The beautiful, well crafted, and specific desires I had nurtured and grown and born and babied.  They cracked and shattered like glass, and I left the pieces behind.

So when I washed up on the shores of America a week ago after two years away, I came home to a mess.  Broken dreams, and too much stuff crowded out my bedroom.  So as I was cleaning, an old bucket list I had written slipped out of a copy of Catcher in the Rye.  I had made it when I was probably 14 years old – long before I ever knew Jesus.

This is what it said:

To Do Before I Die:

• I want to be wealthy.
• I want to be a writer.
• I want to discover treasures!
• I want to sing in front of thousands of people.
• I want to have a family of my own.
• I want to be free to do whatever I want.

I picked it up off the floor, and started laughing.  What middle school dreams these were.   And yet, this was what I had wanted to do with my life, and this was what I had painfully laid down. This was what I was made of once and, in very secret places, am made of still.    And to my shock, as I read down the list, every single one of them had come true.   In each letter and swirl of the decade old ink was a trail of God’s irrefutable goodness.

And as I sat there staring in wonder, God spoke to me:

Stacey-

You said you wanted to be wealthy, I have shown you true riches.

You said you wanted to be a writer, I have given you stories to tell.

You said you wanted to discover treasures, how many have you gathered from among the nations?

You wanted to sing in front of thousands of people?  How many tens of thousands have you sang before in Africa?

You wanted to have a family of your own, so I have given you mine.

You wanted freedom?   Go.   Go where you please.  I will never leave you.

I could do nothing but laugh.  Laugh at the fact that God is the original dreamer. He takes the deepest desires of our hearts and makes them even more beautiful than any one of us are capable.  He takes an ordinary plan, even a plan without specifics, and crafts incredible adventures out of thin air.

So if you’re struggling, know that God’s plan for you is probably not your plan for you. 

 But don’t worry, because His is better.