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Fighting With The Child

Stacey Anne Hume, May 12, 2013
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In my most recent days, God has seen fit to call me woman. While for a time this has already been the name of the World for me, it is another matter when the Creator of the Universe stares down my long road of redemption and marks me with this name. He has called me woman, not young lady or girl or little one. Woman.  I am finally not this child.…    (Although the 80s were awesome… ruffles!)   I was elated, because I assumed that this name meant that I had arrived somewhere new. A land of ease and maturity and simplicity, where my work and toil of living and changing had heaped upon me lavish skills now finally finished.
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Hidden Things

Stacey Anne Hume, May 2, 2013
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It’s an odd sort of habit to keep, considering that the entirety of the universe was created by God, and there is no place that is hidden from His gaze.  But even in knowing that, I still hug a secret or two close to my chest, concealed by my desperately clinging fingers, bleached white from the pressure of holding on. I hide things from Him like a toddler who ferrets away trinkets in every nook of the living room furniture. I stash hopes and fears and concerns around the Throne, thinking in some strange way that I can keep them, if only I can conceal them well enough.   It’s largely a subconscious affair, nothing malicious like Ha~ tricked you again God! …No, it’s nothing like that.
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The Approval of Men

Stacey Anne Hume, April 23, 2013
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  Under this ceiling tonight they called me a “keystone.” The academic world and powers watched me and smiled and applauded and cried as I read about what it meant for me to feel alive…. They said that I had truly done something, that I had written the miraculous and kept this moment in literary history afloat. That I single handedly held together a collection of ideas and encapsulated a generation of questions in a mere six thousand words. What a feat.  They clapped and touched the soft blades of my upper back in approval, with their fingers lingering upon my spine delicately.  And then we dined on cheddar cubes and ego for a moment until the plates ran dry, and all the fruit was eaten.
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And then the rain.

Stacey Anne Hume, April 19, 2013
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I lay in bed watching and waiting for the first storms of summer to come in. The night is black and dark, but I pretend that I can see the clouds forming and bringing the rain. That’s how dry I feel these days, to the point of imagining rain clouds. My heart beats hard against my ribs as I anticipate the first spatter of rain upon my window.  But it’s only silence. These last few weeks I have embarked on a peculiar journey. It’s not something that is easy to explain, but is certainly easy to feel.  It started a few weeks ago, when I prayed that God would give me the gift of faith.  Not just grow my faith, but impart to me the actual Gift of the Spirit of faith- the irremovable trust in God no matter the circumstance.…
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That Thing

Stacey Anne Hume, March 20, 2013
That Thing
I know it’s been longer than necessary since I last posted, but that really is of no concern. I have mentioned it, and now I will move on to the more important matters.   Jesus.   It’s difficult to describe the onslaught of emotions that come in the wake of a night such as yesterday’s. When I think about all that God has done for me, I can’t do anything but yell His name, and fall on my knees in thanks to the one who has redeemed me. There is a deep sound that echoes through my soul and testifies to His grace. There is a great understanding of need and brokenness and just how very lost I am without Jesus.…
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